Prepare Your Family

The worst place you can put your spouse is on the other side of your dream. The more you lean into it, the more you push them away. And you end up having conversations like “why don’t you love my dream, why don’t you want my dream to work?” And you see divorces multiply in moments like that.

Jon Acuff of Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeadership team, August 13, 2012 podcast

 

Remember from my last post, Ready Your Mind, that preparing my family for the new mompreneur in their lives was the second step I took when I decided to launch my business.

Here’s the equation:

values aligned with vision + communicated vision = prepared family

Values aligned with vision

I sincerely hope that your family is at the top of your values (if not, then we can’t be friends). The purpose of the personal mission statement exercise is to examine the alignment of your values with your personal and professional goals. As an entrepreneur my vision is that goal. I asked myself:

  • does this vision feel good in my gut?
  • does it go against my grain?
  • does my vision energize me and bring out my best qualities?
  • is my vision something my family will be proud to be associated with?

 

Communicate your vision to your family

I sought out the support of family and dearest friends early on by pulling them into my vision. Bluntly put, I got their “buy in”. You might find that they will resist at first because you just rocked their world! Show that you are bursting at the seams with enthusiasm over your vision. Paint them a picture, tell why it is important to you and tell what their roles could be. You need them to love your work and want you to succeed.

Prepared family

It’s great if your family embraces your vision, but you still need to work on logistics. Every family is different. You know what is best for yours. What worked best for me was not to strive for the perfect work-life balance nirvana.  Instead, I took the approach of work-life integration.

As a start, I delegating more responsibility to the kids and it is a good thing! Surprisingly my start up helped to achieve a parenting goal. I want to raise sons who are independent and self sufficient. That includes knowing how to do laundry, loading/unloading the dishwasher, making a simple meal, putting clean sheets on a bed. Guess what? They’re doing it now!

I gently pulled back from a few commitments to friends and to my kids’ school. I’m certainly not a hermit, but I do say “no” more often knowing that my time will be spent on my business.

When you prepare your family by integrating them into your vision, your goals and the daily logistics, everyone benefits.

 

Join In: do you have a spouse or partner who is supportive of your career? Tell us a story about how they express their support.

Coming Up: in my post  “Accept what you don’t know”, we’ll talk about identifying knowledge gaps and strategies to fill those gaps.

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About the author
Heather Boggini
Heather Boggini
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Heather's blog explores the start-up experience from her perspective as a mother, runner, cancer survivor and first time entrepreneur.

6 Comments

Fran Reynolds

2013-01-25 22:14:16 Reply

To anticipate possible failure, rebounds, success …and share those realities with family and close friends opens up a network of support from the start.

    Heather

    2013-01-27 19:56:50 Reply

    Heather Boggini

    That’s right. Running a start-up is hard enough with my family onboard. I can’t imagine how much harder it would be without them on my side. Thanks Fran. Keep the good comments coming!

Gerianne K. Patti

2013-01-24 23:41:53 Reply

My family has been very supportive while I pursue my vision for the future. Let’s face it- it’s a team effort! And in the end, if I am satisfied and happy with my work then it will benefit not only me but my family.

You are such a positive role model for your family Heather-keep up the great work on these posts!

    Heather

    2013-01-25 13:52:24 Reply

    Heather Boggini

    Geri – so right! It is a team effort. Thank you for your encouraging words and I do intend to keep up the posts.

      Charie

      2016-02-21 13:03:38 Reply

      22 Ways to stop Republicans from Rigging Another Election1. Get mad as hell. Not crazy mad but angry mad. Furious. Then calm down and plot with cold precision and logic how you are going to make the Republican Party excitnt. The first thing is to remember that there are many Republicans for Obama. Make sure that these Republicans know that they are welcome in the Democratic Party or Green Party or Libertarian Party (or whatever third party you support).2. The Florida vote will be rigged again. So will every other red state. Gather evidence and document every criminal act of the Republicans and then prosecute.3. If you are black or African-American and you are told that you are classified as ineligible to vote, then do the following: get a provisional ballot. Track the progress and location of that provisional ballot. Get the name and home address of the person who stopped you from voting. Get the name and home address of everyone who flashes a badge or I.D. in your face and impedes your right to vote. Remember, your goal is not to be arrested (that tactic went out with the Sixties). Your goal is to put them behind bars. Literally. Not figuratively or metaphorically. Document everything. Make sure you have witnesses with backbones and nerves of steel. These subhumans that stop you from voting having been getting away with murder for half a millennium. No more. If you are prevented from casting even a provisional ballot, go straight to a judge to get an immediate injunction before the polls close. If you do not get immediate relief, then have the judge removed from the bench. Bad judges are subject to review and sanctions. Florida and other Southern states will not be cleaned up until enough Republican disenfranchisers go to prison for a very long time. Make those numbers (convictions and years of prison terms) as high as possible.4. In many states, being in jail does not disenfranchise (take away your right to vote) you.5. Challenge poll taxes, poll tests or any other qualification to vote. If you had enough sense to register in the first place, then you have the right to vote. In states with motor voter and other automatic schemes, don’t let them tell you some lie to keep you from casting a ballot.6. Track provisional ballots and see that there is security around them. Republicans will wait till the public is distracted in the days after the election and then quietly throw them away. Often elections are lost not on Election Day but in the weeks and months afterward.7. Track the electors of the Electoral College. If they vote against your wishes, then start criminal, civil, and Constitutional actions against them personally. Devote the next several decades of your life to abolishing the Electoral College. The Founding Fathers must have been smoking the hemp paper instead of writing on it when they cooked up that nonsense. Democracy? Yeah right. No other democracy in the world has this bull.8. Not paying your taxes or being suddenly declared insane and under conservatorship or any other lame excuses that they invent are not valid (or even invalid) bars to voting. Run straight to the nearest reporter with a live on-the-air camera and scream bloody murder. If you have a choice of reporters, avoid FOX since they are in the pocket of the disenfranchisers. Instead run to Sixty Minutes, YouTube, BBC, PBS, bloggers, and any investigative journalist that you recognize.9. Take the worst of the worst disenfranchisement horror stories to Frontline, Bill Moyers, and Now (PBS) because these are the best of the best. And only the best is good enough for you.10. All voting machines are suspect. Few are reliable. All are made and serviced by Republican owners. Few have paper receipts or audit trails. If the election is fishy, smash the machines in a civil disobedience action or find a legal way to permanently remove Republicans from involvement in election technology. Consult a national civil rights organization for training if you decide on civil disobedience. Get publicity arranged ahead of time. We don’t do criminal acts in the wee hours like Republicans.11. All voting software is suspect. All are programmed and coded by Republican owned software companies. Again, there is little available in the way of checking for rigging. However if the election is fishy, there are experts in forensic accounting and forensic computer crime who can put the Republicans responsible behind bars. Find out who those experts are and vet them. Then lean on prosecutors, district attorneys, the Justice Department (not the Bush Administration), Democratic Party officials, and Obama campaign lawyers to use their skills to find the smoking gun in the lines of code and programmers notes. Don’t hold your breath for any apparatchik to confess. If they can rig voting software, then they have no conscience. They are sociopaths.12. Voter database companies are also Republican owned. Picket their headquarters. Circulate petitions to have their contracts canceled. Bankrupt them. Why should voter rolls be in the clutches of Republican vampires? This defies reason, privacy laws, freedom, ethics, fairness, and logic. The Federal Election Commission, investigative journalists, Libertarians, privacy advocates, ethics boards, civil rights groups, The League of Women Voters, Public Citizen, Common Cause, Ralph Nader, and perhaps individuals like you could investigate this.13. Voter suppression reduces the number of people voting by putting them in categories ineligible to vote. This is based on the hypothesis that if only the rich, religious (nuts), racist, and right wing can vote then only Republicans can vote. They have pro-choice people (doctors, nurses, activists) categorized as murderers. They have Green Party members, environmentalists, and pacifists entered into police dossiers as terrorists. Challenge this with the Freedom of Information Act. Get the Patriot Act wiped off the books. Punish the bastards who voted for the Patriot Act by kicking them out of Congress one by one. Pursue a vendetta against George W. Bush for having it written and then signing it into law. Undermine the finances, the construction, and even the very idea of a presidential library for that bastard Dubya.14. Election Day should be held on a weekend so that the middle class, the working class and the working poor can get to the polls. Often Republican bosses fire people for not showing up or showing up late on Election Day. Therefore, early on Tuesday, publish a list of employers who have disenfranchised workers in previous years and publish it in blogs and daily newspapers. Badger the television news reporters to go after the worst offenders and stick a camera in the face of bad bosses. If they can’t make Election Day a holiday, then make it a weekend.15. Voter purging is the practice of simply taking names off the voter rolls or simply throwing away votes. In the past, Republicans did this on the basis of race but now anyone who is not a Republican (Independent, Democrat, Green, Libertarian, or other third party) is a potential victim. If they don’t let you vote, this is one obvious sign that you have been purged. But it may be worse. They may throw away your regular paper ballot, your provisional paper ballot, your absentee ballot, your early voting ballot, your electronic vote, or your alternate method of voting after the polls close. Members of the military should reports discrepancies to JAG or service organizations. Civilians living overseas should contact both a party organization (Democrats Abroad, US Libertarian international organizations, Green Party, etc.) and a news organization like BBC or CNN. College students should raise hell if they suspect that they are given information that will cause them to drive a long distance to the wrong place. Expect Republicans to make a special effort to disenfranchise the young. Young people should contact the nearest Obama campaign office to report problems.16. Voter intimidation is the use of terrorism, threats, scare tactics, and old Jim Crow methods (up to and including violence and murder) to keep people from voting. Those traditionally used against blacks in the South, the method is now widely applied against unions, Native Americans, Hispanics, and even religious minorities. They scare old people with robot dialers. Republicans still use the South as a laboratory for developing new ways to stop non-Republicans from voting. If something works there, it will be tried in other states. [Blacks are the canary in the mine. If they die, we all die.] If you feel intimidated, then go with family, friends, and neighbors to vote. Take a video camera, a cellphone, and the numbers of YouTube and watch-the-crooks organizations on speed dial. If you need to, take a bodyguard, a police escort, and a lawyer. If you distrust the police, then call the civil rights organizations (like the NAACP, SCLC, CORE, and PUSH), the Southern Poverty Law Center, and other organizations with experience in dealing with violence. If the violence is open, contact bloggers with video capability and YouTube. In the 2000 election, the American news media did not bother to cover the disenfranchisement of blacks in Florida. The international news media did cover it but most Americans have never seen those reports. Therefore bloggers are safer bets since Big Money Republicans control the news.17. Voter caging is the practice of sending mail to see if it is answered. Never mind that you might get your mail at a second home, at work, at school, at an apartment, at a hotel, at the Post Office, at a private box, via military forwarding, or some other location. You might be moving, traveling, out of town, or out of the country. If you have thrown away junk mail or if you suspect that the Republicans might cage you, then check to see if you have been eliminated from the voter rolls or challenged by the Republican Party. If you have been, then get yourself reinstated and then sue the Republican Party for the largest sum of money that you can imagine. Think north of a billion. If you run up against caps on jury awards, then turn your attention to getting those laws off the books. Then resume your lawsuit against the Republicans. Bankrupt the bastards. Remember, stay mad as hell. Don’t take it anymore.18. Voter injustice is politicizing the judicial branch of government. This has been a reality since the Supreme Court gave the White House to Bush and he continued the Republican practice of stacking the courts with Republican judges who always rule against consumers and voters.19. It is not a crime to register more than once despite Republican lies. The most recent registration is what counts. It is a crime to vote more than once and it happens a lot in rich Republican precincts where there are no poll watchers from other parties. If you are Independent, Democrat, Green, Libertarian, or some other party, then organize an effort to catch the criminals in the act. To give you an idea of how bad voter fraud by Republicans is, Republicans themselves are reporting this!20. The Republicans want you to believe that by exercising ANY of your Constitutional rights that you are somehow violating some obscure law that only they have heard of. They count on your fear and ignorance to maintain themselves in power. [ Ignorance is Strength” was one of the Big Brother mottoes in the novel 1984 by George Orwell and that Republicans are anti-education.]21. Do not think for one second that I have exhausted the arsenal of Republican dirty tricks (a euphemism for prosecutable crimes). Evil people can think of more ways to do evil than you can think of ways to do good. They reveal themselves by making fun of “do-gooders”. The reason the McCain campaign is making such a big deal out of ACORN is because Republicans are anti-community and because they don’t want poor people to vote. [“Socialism” and “communism” are code words for don’t let the working poor or homeless with jobs vote. Never mind that the Republicans just socialized the banks and are about to repeat the process with General Motors.] If you are homeless, evicted, foreclosed, in the hospital, overseas, unemployed, don’t own property, or in some other classification or group, then they might challenge your right to vote. Vote anyway. Sue the bastards if they try to stop you. In other countries, the government encourages voting. Some even fine you or otherwise punish you for not voting. Considering how hard it is to tear down a totalitarian regime and establish a democracy, they should punish nonvoting. Republicans are totalitarians because they are against the idea of 100% turnout. They are against democracy.22. Lastly, dedicate your life to putting George W. Bush and Dick Cheney behind bars in a supermax prison. Not some cushy country Club Fed. They want law and order. So let them have it. They want to fill up the prisons. Let them rot in solitary confinement until old age delivers the capital punishment they really deserve. Tricky Dick Nixon escaped justice. Don’t let Dubya and Dick Cheney get away with what they’ve done to America and to you and your family.

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