The worst place you can put your spouse is on the other side of your dream. The more you lean into it, the more you push them away. And you end up having conversations like “why don’t you love my dream, why don’t you want my dream to work?” And you see divorces multiply in moments like that.
Jon Acuff of Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeadership team, August 13, 2012 podcast
Remember from my last post, Ready Your Mind, that preparing my family for the new mompreneur in their lives was the second step I took when I decided to launch my business.
Here’s the equation:
values aligned with vision + communicated vision = prepared family
Values aligned with vision
I sincerely hope that your family is at the top of your values (if not, then we can’t be friends). The purpose of the personal mission statement exercise is to examine the alignment of your values with your personal and professional goals. As an entrepreneur my vision is that goal. I asked myself:
- does this vision feel good in my gut?
- does it go against my grain?
- does my vision energize me and bring out my best qualities?
- is my vision something my family will be proud to be associated with?
Communicate your vision to your family
I sought out the support of family and dearest friends early on by pulling them into my vision. Bluntly put, I got their “buy in”. You might find that they will resist at first because you just rocked their world! Show that you are bursting at the seams with enthusiasm over your vision. Paint them a picture, tell why it is important to you and tell what their roles could be. You need them to love your work and want you to succeed.
It’s great if your family embraces your vision, but you still need to work on logistics. Every family is different. You know what is best for yours. What worked best for me was not to strive for the perfect work-life balance nirvana. Instead, I took the approach of work-life integration.
As a start, I delegating more responsibility to the kids and it is a good thing! Surprisingly my start up helped to achieve a parenting goal. I want to raise sons who are independent and self sufficient. That includes knowing how to do laundry, loading/unloading the dishwasher, making a simple meal, putting clean sheets on a bed. Guess what? They’re doing it now!
I gently pulled back from a few commitments to friends and to my kids’ school. I’m certainly not a hermit, but I do say “no” more often knowing that my time will be spent on my business.
When you prepare your family by integrating them into your vision, your goals and the daily logistics, everyone benefits.
Join In: do you have a spouse or partner who is supportive of your career? Tell us a story about how they express their support.
Coming Up: in my post “Accept what you don’t know”, we’ll talk about identifying knowledge gaps and strategies to fill those gaps.